Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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