You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
he quoted the bible to break up with me
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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