No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
