I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Randomize
