next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I need water and some morals
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
