how do flat chested girls get laid?
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
