yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
