I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
It's just like the Real World with babies
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
