dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
