Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
