i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
