I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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