"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I have fence marks all over my body
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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