Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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