Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
