P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
