so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
