I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
