Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
