Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize