Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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