Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Randomize
