On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
