I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
