Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
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