He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Less talking, more tequila
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
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