He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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