i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize
