so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
