OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
