I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
