Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
He called his prostate his "boner button".
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
