the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
