So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Randomize
