I am spending my child support on dildos
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
