we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
