I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
