You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
