you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
