She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Randomize
