I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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