Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
