I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
