I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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