oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
i believe in u and ur pee
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
