It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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