i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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