I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Randomize
