you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
