I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
