You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
