I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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