tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
