I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
i think i have herpe
just one?
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
