it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
