I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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