You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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