My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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