don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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