My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
