I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Randomize
