I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Randomize