I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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