I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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