Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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